I have not been consistent with this website. Once again, I haven’t delivered on any of my promises. So I’ll stop making promises. My life is chaotic right now. I’m dealing with my own identity crisis, as well as an identity crisis surrounding this website.
University work is piling up.
Sudden waves of studying and panicking. The Easter vacation is approaching. I won’t even be safe then; I still have assignments to work on and reading to do. At this point, I’m convinced that the more I read, the dumber I get. My brain physically cannot comprehend everything I’ve had to read. I’ve learned that you can certainly read too much. Doing so defeats the entire purpose of reading; instead of learning about the world, you forget what you have read and understand the world even less.
Impostor syndrome has settled in. I’m beginning to think I am not a good enough student, friend, person. Some of the people around me have more knowledge of English… and they’re not even studying it. Academic insecurity is real. It is harsh. I deal with it on a daily basis. I’m certain many of you have dealt with it, or are currently dealing with it. My grades are okay – not great, not terrible. The pressure to achieve a first in my degree is immense. There will be one last manic rush of work before the Easter vacation starts, and gives me some brief respite. Perhaps then I can actually establish some sort of schedule with this blog.
At the moment, this website is all over the place.
Just like myself.
Iestyn Tudor 