Six days ago, I submitted my final first year assignment. It was a poetry portfolio that I cobbled together at the last minute, collecting some work from my Instagram page. I’m starting to realise that my first year at university is over.
I didn’t put enough effort into my studies this year. I think it shows. First year doesn’t count towards my overall degree, but it’s where the seeds are planted. Second and third year are the serious ones. I’m studying English literature and creative writing. I haven’t been a great student. I took too many shortcuts. Didn’t reread the texts we were assigned, didn’t reread my own notes, started assignments too late so I ended up getting stressed and rushing to complete them, didn’t do any additional reading, didn’t attend all my lectures and seminars. I know I’ve passed first year… but I don’t want to be the student who just passes. I don’t want to be mediocre. I want to be good at my subject, become more passionate about it. Become more consistent. I understand that it is only first year, but it still feels extremely important.
The ennui is beginning to set in. My studies have temporarily stopped. I have almost finished the second draft of the novel I am working on. Summer will be a long stretch of nothing. Boredom will descend upon me every single day. But I will have more time to blog. I understand that my posting schedule is an absolute joke. No – it’s non-existent. There’s no order to anything I do on this website. Maybe that’ll change one day. I hope it does. Anyway, in the summer I’ll be working on smaller pieces of writing. I will start the third draft of my novel and resume my studies when I return to Aberystwyth in August. In the meantime, short stories, poetry and blog posts will be my focus.
First year has been a great experience, thanks solely to the people I’ve met here. Without them, I would be nobody. They inspire me every single day. Anything I say seems flat and artificial. I’m not going to try to explain how much they mean to me. If any of you are reading this, thank you. I feel like that’s all I can say; a profound and heartfelt thank you. One day, I’ll find the right words.
I want to be a better friend, student, and writer next year.
I want to be better.
Iestyn Tudor 